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NOTE
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This one is for the worst times in our lives, when our own selves become unrecoginizable, and you don't know if it's permanent or not.

Hey, hey! This is my submission for the quarterfinals of the prompt roulette tournament at The Soundry! This time the prompt was fairly simple "vaporwave, dungeon synth soul", or at least I thought it was simple. Turns out V5 just likes to ignore most of your prompts, even with something as simple as this, so getting any dungeon synth vibes to come through was pretty much a nightmare (and lots of jumping between versions).

Oh, and the lyrics here are deeply personal, and all that. I went back to the headspace I was in during the worst and most harrowing part of my life, for some reason. I'm doing fine now, so don't feel too guilty bopping along to this. <3

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LYRICS
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Hey,
If you can hear me,
You don’t have to respond, but,
Your departure’s got me weary,
Hey, (hey)
I used to feel complete sometimes,
I used to be myself sometimes,
Now I’m something else,
Bisected, dissected, folded up,
and disassociated from common sense,

Oh, These splinters In my mind,
Oh, These splinters in my mind,
(Oh, these splinters in my mind),
I think I’m too disrupted to be kind,

And all the painful thoughts,
Caught straight on the center stage,
And all the joy I had,
Replaced with seething rage,
Until, that, too, fades, away,

(What am I now?)
There’s nothing here
(What am I now?)
It’s too much to bear,

No, I get it, everyone dies,
But did you all have to do it at the same time?
Hey, Did I do something wrong?
Hey, Did anything matter at all?
Just staring at a pointless universe,
Yeah sorry if I missed your call,

Every dream you show up in,
Feels like a cruel mockery of life,
And all the screams I wake up in,
Cuts sharper than a butchers knife,

Hey, (hey)
Read your poems at your funeral,
They were just so similar to mine,
About how you lost your family too,
At an age too young to die.

Oh, These splinters In my mind,
Oh, These splinters in my mind,
(Oh, these splinters in my mind),
I think I’m too disrupted to be kind,

And all the painful thoughts,
Straight bam on the center stage,
And all the joy I had,
Replaced with seething rage,
Until, that, too, fades, away,

(What am I now?)
There’s nothing here
(What am I now?)
It’s too much to bear,

Not a rhyme,
not a reason,
Nothing to blame,
Every holiday season,

Feels like a middle finger,
From nobody at all,
And I’m left with the despair,
With nobody to brawl,

Our last conversations on loop in my head,
The final stop before the land of the dead,
When I smile and laugh and put on a show,
I’m just trying to be polite to the impossible, so..

Oh, These splinters In my mind,
Oh, These splinters in my mind,
(Oh, these splinters in my mind),
I think I’m too disrupted to be kind,

And all the painful thoughts,
Straight bam on the center stage,
And all the joy I had,
Replaced with seething rage,
Until, that, too, fades, away