Yo Joe, thanks for having me on, this is wild (it’s Halloween?)

Oh word? That’s crazy man, I didn’t even realize

Wait, why’s it so dark in here? Where’s Jamie at?

You know what, let me freestyle about being scared and that’s that

I woke up on Halloween feeling paranoid already

Checked under my bed for monsters …. found dust bunnies, heavy

Then I thought, what if dust bunnies actually ARE monsters?

Microscopic demons plotting while I sleep, small mobsters

Let me tell you Joe, I’m terrified of everything that moves

Ghosts, goblins, vampires, and definitely werewolves too

But also scared of normal things like taxes and commitment

My therapist says I need help, I think she’s onto something

Hold up, speaking of ghosts … you ever seen one before, Joe?

Probably fought one in the sauna after eating elk, I know

You’d choke it out with jiu-jitsu, submit a poltergeist quick

Me? I’d probably apologize and ask if it’s alright, sick

It’s Halloween at Joe’s and I’m freaking out right now

Talking bout DMT while the demons coming out somehow

Got that podcast confidence but I’m scared deep inside

This is what happens when you freestyle terrified

Okay so I’ve been thinking bout supernatural phenomena daily

Like, what if Bigfoot’s real and he’s got a college degree?

Works a normal job, pays his taxes, drives a Prius to work

We’re out here hunting him and he’s just trying to feed his species, berserk

Speaking of cryptids, Joe you think that chimps could learn to rap?

Jamie, pull that up … a chimpanzee rocking a backwards cap

Actually don’t, that’s terrifying, apes are strong as hell for real

One freestyle battle and I’m getting sent straight to chimp jail, the deal

Yo, real talk though, witches freak me out the most by far

Not because they’re evil, but what if they’re just misunderstood stars?

Like maybe she’s making potions cause her health insurance lapsed bad

And eye of newt is cheaper than the pharmacy, perhaps, that’s sad

Wait, how long have I been going? Hah hah…. like four minutes now?

I started talking bout Halloween, now I’m defending witches somehow

This is what your podcast does to people’s brains, Joe Rogan

Three hours later I believe in ancient aliens for sure, I’m hoping

I got seventeen different fears happening simultaneously here

One’s “is that shadow moving?” another’s “did I lock my car keys?” clear

One is worried that vampires might actually be real and alive

And the last one’s wondering if elk meat’s really that big in your life

But serious question … if you fought a zombie with no rules at all

Would you go for the head immediately or try some ground moves to stall?

Cause I feel like zombies don’t tap out, they’re already deceased and gone

So rear naked choke won’t work, you need a different technique, move on

Okay I’m losing it, the Halloween vibes got me shook

Started confident, now I’m scared of every sound and look

But Joe, you always say face your fears, conquer your mind

So I’mma finish this freestyle even though I’m terrified

Last thing before I go, I wanna start a support group tonight

For people scared of Halloween but stuck at costume parties, right, troops?

We’ll meet in well-lit spaces, no spooky decorations allowed at all

Just people eating candy corn admitting they’re scared of crowds and walls

Also, shoutout to everyone who’s listening in the dark right now alone

Probably checking behind them after every single sound in their home

Your bravery’s admirable but honestly also kinda foolish though

Cause if something IS behind you, my freestyle made it come and show

Oh and Joe, thanks for the platform, this was therapeutic and wild

Talked through my fears while making beats that sound hypnotic , compiled

Next time I’ll bring some elk meat, we’ll talk bout consciousness and space

But for now I’m leaving quickly cause I swear I heard a noise in this place

Alright Joe, that’s all I got (actually I’m just scared now)

Jamie, can you turn the lights on? What’s that sound?

This was fun, I faced my fears with comedy and bass

Halloween freestyle complete, I’m running from this place

Peace!