Preparation H
Comedy power metal anthem blending power metal , sleazy glam with djent brutality. Massive slapping bass, manic theatrical vocals, sudden tempo shifts, unforgettable brilliant soaring Chorus, panic-chord dissonance, and absurd genre whiplash. Downtuned sludge riffs collide with rock choruses, soaring vocals, gang vocals, melodic solos, neo classic licks and grotesque breakdowns. Bass constantly slaps and pops through the mix while drums switch between funky groove, double kick assaults, and avant garde chaos. cowbell, crowd chants, and ridiculous glam-metal energy. Production should sound huge, weirdly triumphant, and slightly unhinged. Catchy choruses, chaotic transitions, obnoxious hooks, and maximum absurdity. full-spectrum sonic onslaught, deep bass, wide audio spectrum., progressive
Preparation H
Comedy power metal anthem blending power metal , sleazy glam with djent brutality. Massive slapping bass, manic theatrical vocals, sudden tempo shifts, unforgettable brilliant soaring Chorus, panic-chord dissonance, and absurd genre whiplash. Downtuned sludge riffs collide with rock choruses, soaring vocals, gang vocals, melodic solos, neo classic licks and grotesque breakdowns. Bass constantly slaps and pops through the mix while drums switch between funky groove, double kick assaults, and avant garde chaos. cowbell, crowd chants, and ridiculous glam-metal energy. Production should sound huge, weirdly triumphant, and slightly unhinged. Catchy choruses, chaotic transitions, obnoxious hooks, and maximum absurdity. full-spectrum sonic onslaught, deep bass, wide audio spectrum., progressive
Lyrics
My Roman grapes were swollen, packin' heat
The doctor said, "You need more fiber, son"
But I said, "Doc, the damage has been done"
Tried sitting on a donut, tried a bag of ice
My rusty biscuit wasn't being nice
Called in sick to work
Told them it's my back
Nobody needs to know about my situation ...yet
The pharmacist looked me in the eye
I slid that tube across the counter, watched dignity fly
She said, "Have a nice day," I said, "That depends"
On whether this tube of heaven never ends!
Preparation H, my saving grace!
The fire down below has found its place!
My anal pearls are finally at peace
The crimson cauliflower gets relief!
Preparation H !
Squeeze it like you mean it, baby!
My balloon knot's burning, drive me crazy!
One little tube to rule them all
The mightiest cream since the Roman Fall!
Napoleon had 'em on the day of Waterloo
Couldn't ride his horse ...
Well, now I know that too
Hemorrhoids have shaped the course of history, friend
Every empire falls
It burns right at the end
My ring of fire blazes hotter than Johnny Cash
My posterior posies raising hell and sass
WebMD said, "Could be cancer"
I closed that tab
Grabbed a jar of Preparation H and a cab
[PRE-CHORUS II]
Tried the suppositories
I won't go there
Just know there was a learning curve I didn't prepare
But this cream right here
This tube of holy light
Is the only thing that gets me through the night!
Preparation H, my saving grace!
The fire down below has found its place!
My anal pearls are finally at peace
The crimson cauliflower gets relief!
Preparation H
Squeeze it like you mean it, baby!
My balloon knot's burning, drive me crazy!
One little tube to rule them all
The mightiest cream since the Roman Fall!
"They don't put this in the brochure when they talk about rock and roll.
Mötley Crüe never sang about the tour bus toilet situation.
But I'll tell you something ...
Every rockstar, every warrior, every Caesar who ever sat on a throne…
EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.
...needed this tube."
Chocolate Starfish Satellites!
Doom Berries!
The Sphincter Syndicate!
Rectal Cataclysm!
Lava Cushions!
BURN!
SWELL!
SQUIRM!
APPLY THE CREAM AND WATCH IT FIRM!
Preparation H, my saving grace!
The fire down below has found its place!
My rectal roses finally at peace
The crimson cauliflower gets release!
Preparation H
I'll tattoo it on my chest!
Maximum strength
Nothing less!
One little tube to rule them all
The mightiest cream since the ROMAN FALL!!