[INTRO – spoken over cracking drum break, vinyl hiss]
Ladies and gentlemen… please locate your nearest exit.
It may be directly behind you.
…Trust me, it is directly behind you.
[VERSE 1 – punchy delivery, choppy synth stabs]
Met her on a Tuesday, she looked like a dream
Smiled like a postcard, sharp as a scream
Third date she borrowed my favourite shirt
Used it as a gym towel — yeah that one hurt
She leaves every cupboard open, every light switched on
Replies to my texts with "k" and then she's gone
Seven alarms and she sleeps through them all
I'm late for my own life — I read the writing on the wall
[PRE-CHORUS – bass drops, turntable scratch]
Oh she's a masterpiece, no doubt about it
But every masterpiece — needs a museum — I can't afford it
[CHORUS – full break, big beat explosion, catchy hook]
Emergency exit! Flashing lights, running shoes on
Emergency exit! Door number two, everybody move along
I ain't crashing — I'm evacuating — with love, yes I am
Emergency exit! (Exit! Exit!) — thank you ma'am
[VERSE 2 – faster flow, layered samples punching through]
She's got forty-eight plants that all need their own names
Cries at commercials, never cries at my pain
Eats half my food then orders her own
Leaves her hair everywhere — it's fully colonised my home
She critiques my driving — from the passenger seat
Calls me a procrastinator — while she pauses mid-tweet
I love her like a smoke alarm — loud and without chill
And just like a smoke alarm — she goes off when I grill
[PRE-CHORUS]
Oh she's a five-star review, no doubt about it
But five stars in a timezone — I can't live in it
[CHORUS]
Emergency exit! Flashing lights, running shoes on
Emergency exit! Door number two, everybody move along
I ain't crashing — I'm evacuating — with love, yes I am
Emergency exit! (Exit! Exit!) — thank you ma'am
[BRIDGE – breakdown, vinyl scratch solo, spoken word over beat]
Now in the event of a relationship emergency…
Your nearest exit might be disguised as a very long walk.
A very long walk to get milk.
From another city.
Please ensure your pride is fully inflated before use.
[BREAKDOWN BUILD – choppy filters, drum fills, stutter edit]
She— she— she— she texts me "we need to talk"
I— I— I— I'm already out the door
EXIT (exit) EXIT (exit) EXIT (exit) — floor by floor
[FINAL CHORUS – huge drop, full energy, gang vocals echo]
Emergency exit! Flashing lights, running shoes on
Emergency exit! Door number two, everybody move along
I ain't crashing — I'm evacuating — with love, yes I am
Emergency exit! (Exit! Exit!) — thank you ma'am
Emergency exit! (Thank you ma'am!)
Emergency exit! (Much appreciated!)
Emergency exit! (Godspeed!) — EXIT!
[OUTRO – break fades, vinyl crackle, final spoken]
…She kept the shirt.
She kept the plants.
She kept… the parking spot.
I kept the story.