Well I wake up at dawn with a six-pack yawn,

Crack a cold one open 'fore I put my boots on.

Eggs in the pan? Nope, just a can—

Of that golden river from a magical land.

My horse looks concerned, my dog thinks I'm weird,

But I ain't touched water since my twenty-third year.

Doctor said, “Son, your liver’s a crime,”

I said, “Doc, I drink beer, beer, beer all the time!”

Beer, beer, beer—at breakfast, lunch, and dinner,

I'm a barley-malt sippin’ full-time beginner.

No whiskey, no wine, don't talk to me 'bout gin,

Just beer, beer, beer—let the bubbles begin!

At weddings I chug, at funerals I toast,

Even baptized my nephew with a Bud Light post.

Date nights, bar fights, cowboy church too—

Pass me a cold one, hallelujah, and a brew!

My pickup’s a fridge, my saddle’s a keg,

I’ll shotgun a lager with one sturdy leg.

Love’s come and gone but I’m doin’ just fine—

With beer, beer, beer all the time!

Beer, beer, beer—rain or shine or blizzard,

Got suds in my soul and foam in my gizzard.

No rum, no brandy, keep your moonshine,

Just beer, beer, beer—it’s my bottom line!

I tried a Zinfandel once and I spit on the floor,

Tried bourbon neat—woke up under the store.

People say, “Pace yourself, don’t go too far,”

But I drink Busch in church from a souvenir jar!

If I win the lotto or I lose my last dime,

I’ll be belly-up singin’ “It’s Miller Time!”

My will’s just a note and a single clear line:

“Bury me with beer, beer, beer all the time!”

Beer, beer, beer—I'm a hoppy ol’ man,

With a beer in my boot and a koozie in hand.

No tequila, no schnapps, don’t waste your time—

It’s beer, beer, beer all the time!

Now if y’all need me, I’ll be out in the barn...

Arguin’ with a goat over a six-pack of Pabst.