Hey my lovelies 💜
This one is my little chaotic tribute to Undead Chickens and their gloriously unhinged Broseph Broheim energy. I loved the spirit of the original so much .. but let’s be honest, in my world we do not bow before tiny violins. The cello is the true god-instrument 😌🖤
So this version is basically me taking that beautiful crypt-chaos and dragging it into a darker, heavier, more overcharged cello ritual. Weird, dramatic, slightly cursed .. exactly how a proper tribute should feel.


[intro]
I proceed from the premise…
that the cello is not a big violin.
(zap)
It is older.
It is hungrier.
It opens the door.
Broseph is ready.
The overcharge begins.

[verse 1]
Deep in the crypt where the mortals all pray,
the cello awakens and shows them the way.
Not some fancy fiddle with polite little strings,
this is the voice that makes reality scream.
Bow drags like lightning across ancient gut,
fingers bleed sparks and the cosmos lights up.
You don’t play the cello ... the cello plays you,
rips open your mind till the old self falls through.

[chorus]
CELLO BROHEIM!
Ten feet of divine, strongest in the land!
CELLO BROHEIM!
The Pearl of Overcharge held in my hand!
It drags you to heaven while tearing you apart,
higher consciousness straight through the heart!
It’s not a big violin, it’s a ritual machine,
the quest is completed… and the glory is obscene!

[verse 2]
They call it a viola when they don’t understand,
but this thing eats souls and spits out the damned.
One stroke and you’re floating outside of your skin,
two strokes and you’re laughing at original sin.
The mortals keep asking “is that just a big fiddle?”
I smile real slow and say “no, little riddle…
this is the key that unlocks the divine,
play it too long and you’ll never come back in time.”

[bridge]
The Bralnut does not bend.
The cello does not lie.
I proceed from the premise…
that once you have heard it,
you will never be the same guy.
(hummmmmm)
Keep the bow moving… let the overcharge escalate.
Wait…
is that enlightenment or just another gate?

[final chorus]
CELLO BROHEIM!
Ten feet of divine, strongest in the land!
CELLO BROHEIM!
The Pearl of Overcharge held in my hand!
It drags you to heaven while tearing you apart,
higher consciousness straight through the heart!
It’s not a big violin, it’s a ritual machine,
the quest is completed… and the glory is obscene!

[outro]
Slightly above average…
(above average)
Cello legacy…
I proceed from the premise…
that Broseph is now… very sparkly.
(woop)
Pack your bags, mortals…
We are moving to the higher plane.
Did I mention the cello is made of…
pure fucking transcendence?
Guten-BRAHT-shuh average people.

[reprise the molody]