Zeke's Lost Earthly Junk - v6 - One Lost Giuseppe
[Genre: Space Blues, Galactic Country-Folk. A nervous, twangy guitar and a sorrowful slide whistle create a bewildered, alien vibe. The song's flow is a frantic, anxious monologue, punctuated by brief, frantic musical interludes.] Zeke Bobulgastone, a desperate alien male, sings with a thick, worried accent. He's trying to identify and sell three baffling human items: a microwave, a tanning bed, and a bass boat. The lyrics express his confusion and panic, as his family's expensive condo in the "Space Clouds" is at risk. He delivers a hurried sales pitch to an off-world audience, offering the items in exchange for galactic currency, all to avoid a dreaded job in the "Vacuum of Space." The song ends on a hopeful but desperate note.
Zeke's Lost Earthly Junk - v6 - One Lost Giuseppe
[Genre: Space Blues, Galactic Country-Folk. A nervous, twangy guitar and a sorrowful slide whistle create a bewildered, alien vibe. The song's flow is a frantic, anxious monologue, punctuated by brief, frantic musical interludes.] Zeke Bobulgastone, a desperate alien male, sings with a thick, worried accent. He's trying to identify and sell three baffling human items: a microwave, a tanning bed, and a bass boat. The lyrics express his confusion and panic, as his family's expensive condo in the "Space Clouds" is at risk. He delivers a hurried sales pitch to an off-world audience, offering the items in exchange for galactic currency, all to avoid a dreaded job in the "Vacuum of Space." The song ends on a hopeful but desperate note.
Lyrics
Genre: Space Blues, Galactic Country-Folk. The song has a nervous, twangy guitar and a sorrowful slide whistle. The rhythm is a weary, defeated beat, punctuated by the dull thud of bowling balls rolling around. Zeke's voice is a tired, exasperated moan, a new level of desperation.
SOUND of a high-pitched, frustrated sigh, followed by a loud, echoing thud, thud, thud as bowling balls roll around. A nervous, embarrassed cough.
[Zeke Bobulgastone] The Void has truly given me a test this week. My latest shipment… I can’t even begin to describe the oddities. First, I found a collection of heavy, round spheres. They have three holes in each one, like they are for a three-fingered creature with terrible grip! They keep rolling around, making a terrible noise. What are these for? Do humans use them as a terrible form of torture? I am completely baffled. I am calling them "Human Weighted Spheres" and hoping some extraterrestrial government will buy them for target practice.
SOUND of the thudding continuing, followed by the high-pitched sound of a vacuum cleaner turning on and then quickly dying.
[Zeke Bobulgastone] Then, I found this little machine that hums. It has a hose and a brush on the end. I thought maybe I could use it to clean up the vacuum of space, but it's too small! It barely cleans anything at all. The humans have made a pointless machine that is too small for its purpose. What a waste of time and energy!
SOUND of a man's tired sigh, followed by the clinking of a coffee mug.
[Zeke Bobulgastone] And finally... I am truly baffled. This human tourist, Giuseppe, has overstayed his welcome! I keep trying to show him the door, but he just keeps asking for directions to the hotel! He's a lost human who can't seem to get the hint. I have a family to support! I can't be a tour guide! I've tried to show him the "Portable Target-Stand" but he just keeps asking for directions to the bus stop. I'm at my wit's end.
Musical Bridge: The frantic synth returns, with the addition of a deep, rumbling sound, as if Zeke is trying to move the massive vehicle. The slide whistle plays a panicked, off-key melody.
[Zeke Bobulgastone] Please, please! Buyers of the known galaxy! I, Zeke Bobulgastone, resident of the Neptune Orbital Cloud, offer these incredible human artifacts! I will accept Glimmer-Coins, Pulsar-Pellets, or even an old Hyper-Crystal! All sales are final! Find me on the Outer Rim of the Andromeda Galaxy, on the trading moon of Xylos, just behind the fourth gas giant! My wife Zorpina's account number is still 7-4-C-Omega-9! She will not be happy if I fail again!
The music fades out with a defeated, and embarrassed sigh from Zeke.