[Intro – Spoken]
You know what happens when you assume?

[Chorus]
You know what happens when you assume?
You make an ass out of Yumi
And what did Yumi ever do to you?
She was just mindin’ her business, truly
You know what happens when you assume?
You make an ass out of Yumi
So stop actin’ like you knew the truth—
Leave Yumi out of your issues

[Verse 1]
You saw one look, wrote the whole damn script
Turned one little glitch into “that’s just how she is”
Heard half a sentence, filled in the rest
Built a whole case with no evidence
Now you’re talkin’ like you got receipts
But it’s vibes and guesses and jealousy
Meanwhile Yumi’s over there like: “me?”
Why my name in your therapy?

[Pre-Chorus]
You don’t know her, you don’t know me
You don’t know what you think you see
If you need a villain, pick your own
Don’t drag a random into your tone

[Chorus]
You know what happens when you assume?
You make an ass out of Yumi
And what did Yumi ever do to you?
She was just mindin’ her business, truly
You know what happens when you assume?
You make an ass out of Yumi
So stop actin’ like you knew the truth—
Leave Yumi out of your issues

[Verse 2]
You read my silence like a confession
Read my smile like aggression
Read “later” like rejection
Damn, that’s an impressive projection
You turned “maybe” into “never”
Turned “busy” into “whatever”
And every time you jump to doom
Yumi takes the shrapnel with you

[Bridge – Spoken/Rap]
Let me translate this ancient proverb:
When you ASS-UME, you don’t become wise—
you become loud.
And for some reason, it’s always Yumi’s fault.
Free Yumi.

[Final Chorus]
You know what happens when you assume?
You make an ass out of Yumi
And what did Yumi ever do to you?
Nothing. That’s what makes it goofy.
You know what happens when you assume?
You make an ass out of Yumi
So if you need somebody to accuse—
Use your own name. Leave Yumi out of it.

[Outro – Spoken]
You know what happens when you assume.