She had that look — eyes wild, tongue sharp as a tack,

Said “come on, cowboy, lemme scratch your back.”

But I’ve seen that movie, it don’t end nice,

You wake up cuffed to a bedpost — payin’ the price.

I don’t stick it in crazy, no sir, not me,

Ain’t gettin’ caught in her web o’ misery.

She’ll key your truck and burn your drawers,

Then smile sweet when the judge implores.

I don’t stick it in crazy — that’s my creed, you see,

My zipper’s got a background-check policy.

She texted me “Daddy” — three A.M. sharp,

Said she’d bring cuffs, rope, and a broken harp.

Her playlist screamed heartbreak & revenge,

That’s a whole-lotta drama I ain’t gonna defend.

You can flirt with danger, kiss that fuse,

But when she’s drinkin’ tequila, you’re bound to lose.

I learned my lesson, took my lumps,

Now my pants stay zipped ‘til she passes the psych-exam bumps.

I don’t stick it in crazy, no ma’am, not twice,

Had my share o’ claws and vice.

A pretty face can cloud your mind,

But crazy’ll bite your behind.

I keep it simple, clean, and lazy —

You can call me picky, call me shady,

But, hell… I don’t stick it in crazy.