(Verse 1)

I cut in line at the coffee shop,

Order my drink and watch your jaw drop.

Left my cart right in the aisle at the store,

’Cause walkin’ three more feet felt like a chore.

(Pre-Chorus)

I know my mama raised me better than this,

But here I am blowin’ you a kiss.

(Chorus)

Yeah, I’m a certified Asshole,

Wear it like a crown, baby, that’s my role.

Got a grin that’ll get under your skin,

I’ll poke the bear just to watch it spin.

Don’t try to fix me, I’m past control,

I’m a certified, bona fide Asshole.

(Verse 2)

I’ll park my truck across two spots,

Tell you it’s ’cause I love my rims a lot.

Sing off-key in a quiet room,

Laugh when the punchline comes too soon.

(Pre-Chorus)

I ain’t evil, I just got my ways,

A little bit twisted, set in my plays.

(Chorus)

Yeah, I’m a certified Asshole,

Wear it like a crown, baby, that’s my role.

Got a grin that’ll get under your skin,

I’ll poke the bear just to watch it spin.

Don’t try to fix me, I’m past control,

I’m a certified, bona fide Asshole.

(Bridge)

It’s not personal, it’s just my charm,

Like a bull in a china shop, sound the alarm.

You can love me or you can run,

Either way I’m just here for fun.

(Chorus – repeat)

Yeah, I’m a certified Asshole,

Wear it like a crown, baby, that’s my role.

Got a grin that’ll get under your skin,

I’ll poke the bear just to watch it spin.

Don’t try to fix me, I’m past control,

I’m a certified, bona fide Asshole.

(Outro)

So raise a glass to the ones like me,

Livin’ life loud, shameless and free.

We’re the life of the party, pay the toll,

Yeah, the world needs the occasional Asshole