Quick!
Somebody grab him!
Stop The Jester!
He can't be allowed to escape!

I know everything you fools!
And I am going to tell everybody!

Well hello there friends, as you can see-
I am running for my life right now!
I now know all the secrets, all of them!
And you will too after I take my bow!

"Now Jester" I hear you ask-
"Why are you pulling off our masks?"
And I respond with a grin
"Oh hush, all of you, I have a cause-
It is due to that I, do not care for your laws!"

I know their secrets, and also yours!
Every single dirty one, is all in my mind!
Honestly, as I heard some my jaw hit the floor!
So you better listen up, because you will find-
That I know things you never said before!

You remember your gym teacher with that nasty scar?
How he said he got it in a fight at a bar?
He did get it in a fight... with a goose!

Oh remember your ex? The one with the Golden Retriever?
Watch out for that pup, he's a deceiver!
He was a major figure in World War two!
(You will just have to guess who!)

Stop him!
He is going to spill the beans!
He knows that I-
Whoops, almost said it out loud!

Oh don't worry Dave, I won't tell anyone that you passed your college exams with ChatGPT

Hoo boy, those guys are coming up fast!
You know, maybe I shouldn't embarrass you all...
Nah, you just need to get over the past!
So just watch as your mask takes its fall!

Jimmy used to sneak spaghetti into the theater-
Until the day he spilt it on the floor.
Sarah used to dip her cookies in mustard!
She never seen a guy leave her that quickly before!
Mike hid a block of cheese under his pillow for a week!
Then his wife filed for divorce! (It is just a little bed cheese! Forgive the man, Karen!)
Jake, the man that everyone says is so great!
Actually is a stand-up guy, his secret is that he once called someone a boar

I know their secrets, and also yours!
Every single dirty one, is all in my mind!
Honestly, as I heard some my jaw hit the floor!
So you better listen up, because you will find-
That I know things you never said before!

Remember that day you tried to impress your crush?
But all of your words came out in a rush?
You didn't? Happy to remind you then!

Or the time you made a copy of all your friends in The Sims?
How you made them obey your every whim?
I've shown them the recordings, and hoo boy, John has some WORDS to say to you.

Phew, that was close!
Now why did I steal every secret again?
Oh right, time to tell everyone that
[What The Jester said here has been censored by every government in the world.]

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