Verse ~~

I grew up in a house that looked like a home

Mom, brother, walls, a place we were supposed to belong

But there was a man who made it clear

My presence wasn’t welcome, my breath wasn’t safe here

Hands that hit, words that cut

Fear so loud I learned to shut up

Bruises hid, but the damage stayed

I learned real quick how to get out the way

I wasn’t bad, I wasn’t wild

I was just an unprotected child

And every scream I swallowed down

Built the silence I live in now

Chorus ~~

I feel alone even when I’m surrounded

People talking, but my heart’s ungrounded

I learned early being seen meant pain

So I disappear before it happens again

They say “you’re strong,” but they don’t know why

Strength was survival, not a choice of mine

I’m not lonely ‘cause no one’s near

I’m lonely ‘cause safety was never here

Verse ~~

They ask why I don’t open up

Why closeness makes me lock it up

Why love feels heavy on my chest

Why rest still doesn’t feel like rest

Because when you grow up scared to exist

Your body remembers every hit

Even laughter feels like a lie

When your nervous system learned to hide

I can sit in a room full of friends

Still feel like I’m back there again

Because abuse don’t end when it stops

It rewires how the child grows up

Hook ~~

I’m present, but gone

Smiling, but numb

Loved, but alone

Still bracing for someone

I learned connection doesn’t mean safe

So I keep distance just in case

This is what trauma leaves behind

A crowded room and a silent mind

Parents need to hear this part.

It’s not enough to put a roof overhead.

It’s not enough to say “I tried.”

If a child isn’t safe,

Nothing else matters.

Who you allow around your child

Becomes part of their nervous system.

What you ignore

Becomes what they normalize.

Love doesn’t mean anything

If the child is living in fear.

Verse ~~

I love my family, I really do

But love don’t erase what I lived through

You can be held and still feel alone

When your first lessons taught you home is danger zones

I don’t need pity, I need it said

Abuse shapes who a child becomes in their head

And if you’re raising someone small

Their safety matters more than it all

Chorus ~~

I feel alone even when I’m surrounded

Not because I’m broken, but because I was wounded

I learned silence before I learned trust

I learned endurance before I learned love

If you’re a parent, hear me clear

Your child’s safety is everything here

Because what you protect, or fail to see

Becomes their lifelong reality

Outro ~~

I’m still here.

I survived.

But no child should have to learn strength this way.

Loneliness isn’t always about being alone.

Sometimes it’s about growing up unsafe

With people all around you.

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Lyrics by Whispers

Copyright ©2026 Porcelain Heart

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